It has been a long week, trying to catch up with tutorials, lectures, adjusting back to a normal and a typical school week without orientation (especially since we were still suffering from orientation high). Tutorials are never ending, and I have lots to do, not to mention start memorising my chem spa and such.

Throughout our whole lives, we would encounter death. Be it our friends, family meeting death first, we would meet death ourselves eventually. Death can be a contradiction itself. To some, meeting death is a form of liberation from their worldly duties and stress or pressure. To others, meeting death is the worst thing that can possibly happen and it brings about pain. After death, they might go to heaven or go to hell. But we will never know. It is up to the imagination of those left behind to figure out how the person is, after death.

Besides those meeting death, there are the family members and friends of these people who suffer the side effects of death. They have to deal with the loss, sudden or not. They have to deal with the pain that will linger in their hearts at the mere thought of the person who passed away. They have to deal with the torture of pasting a smile on their face to give others the idea that they are recovering from their loss. They have to pick up the all the broken pieces and try to get back to their lives. There would be little reminders all around to just bring up the memory of the person who is gone. The aftermath of death, is definitely one of the worst feelings in the world. There is a mixture of disbelief, denial, loss, uncertainty, sadness, guilt and grief.

The ones who get left behind, are undeniably the worst off.

All right. Enough of the morbid stuff and move on to happier stuff.

I am so glad for the close friends who helped me get through this week. Their nonsense-talking, jokes, bitch sessions with me, 5-min-chat-in-between-lessons, random catch ups over msn/sms all helped get all negative feelings out of me and put positive feelings back in. Thanks my better half, duck, yan ning and yizhen! I am not going to mention all their names, but if you feel the previous sentence applies to you, then THANKS FOR BEING MY FRIEND.

I really want to know. I want clarity and affirmation.
If only I can get that, everything would then be perfect.
If only.