it just occured to me, that the cough virus that has been staying in my family since youknowwhat is a symbol, a symbol of us still healing, still recovering from youknowwhat. the cough virus has been stuck with us for almost 3 weeks, starting since youknowwhat ended. turns out, other from my whole extended got it as well, because of lack of rest and lots of contact during youknowwhat.

this cough, just like the heaviness in our hearts is taking us a long time to recover from it. it is not easy to let go, not easy to be numb against the pain and sadness. it was pretty bad for the first week, coughing non-stop, just like the tears flowing in our hearts. it seemed to have gotten better, for a period of time, but now signs of it is returning, which is apt considering yesterday. many of us are suffering from this cough, just like many of us feeling a hole in our hearts, an emptiness in the house where he was supposed to be.

all of us are battling this evil virus in our hearts, trying to eradicate it from our lives. but somehow, it seems impossible. everytime i think it is better, something else hits me back in the face, bringing up all the memories. thinking of her all alone, does not help, not one bit.

yet, we have to deal with the cough, taking medicines, antibiotics to get rid of it, just like having to find ways and methods to deal with the emptiness and tears. we have to be strong, to deal with the cough, and mentally to deal with all the aftermath awaiting us.

this cough is a reminder as well, not to follow his footsteps, like i was told yesterday.

this whole post just reminded me of Macbeth, with disease being a symbolism for evil in the whole plot. gah. i miss ms ow's lit lessons so much.

in case you have no idea what this whole post is about, forget it. you probably wont get it.