Manhattan from the sky.

Twice is one too many

Thursday, August 14, 2008

The first week since you've been gone.

reading my cousins' posts on their blogs,
listening to songs about loss,
hearing phrases about death and loss,
seeing you on the bed in the hospital and at home,
recalling the grim faces and red eyes of everyone,
remembering the words of my grandma,
all these little things,
is enough to set the waterworks.
it is hard for me, for my cousins,
it is even harder for the adults, especially my grandma.
it is too late for regrets.
we just have to deal with the pain,
hiding the tears and scar it left behind our masks,
just so to pretend everything is all right,
and to continue our lives as per normal,
when you know it the scar will probably never heal.

every memory i recall, causes another piece to be broken.
everytime i think of my grandma and mum, tears spring into my eyes.
i never want to go through this again
because the next time, it will be much much worse.

twice is one too many.

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